Shelley A. Ellis, passed away on August 24, 2017. She is survived by her loving family. There will be a memorial service on Wednesday, September 6, 2017 at 4:00 pm at Serenity Meadows Funeral Home, with a visitation one hour prior.
There are many ways to memorialize the life of someone through words.
There's the listing of basic facts that Shelley Ann Ellis was born Shelly Ann Tasto on a summer's day the 7th of August, 1960, in Guilford, Connecticut, into a family that included Maureen, John, and Kim, and would soon be joined by Lane.
There's the noting of the other names a person has had in their life for Shelley, these are names like Wichrowski, the name she shared with her three children, Alphonse, Katie, and Robbie, and Ellis, the name she shared with Robert, her husband of eleven years.
There's the titles she'd been born into, and the titles she'd earned daughter, sister, mom, wife, Memay, Nana, aunt, friend, parishioner, and even, for a time, hairdresser.
There's the places she'd lived, and the schools she'd attended, and the hobbies she'd kept.
These things are known, can be recited like a grocery list in a rote, emotionless narrative.
But the true measure of a person the true measure of Shelley cannot be found entirely in these facts, because, as those of us who knew her recognized from the moment she entered our lives, she was and is so much more.
No, Shelley's life is not a list of nouns and formalities, Shelley's life is a beautiful tapestry of adjectives, a verdant meadow of verbs, and it is this rich and dazzling symphony of kindness Shelley composed in her 57 years on this planet that we sing out now, not in mourning, but in celebration, just as Shelley wanted.
Shelley was caring and selfless, loving and lovable, she was a sunny smile and a warm hug. She was, to hear her husband tell it, "the hot blonde at the barbecue," that would go on to become so very much more his "driving force" in life.
She was a being of unwavering faith and unshakable friendship, and she meant so much to so many.
It is with that in mind that we invite you to share your stories, share them with each other, share them with friends, neighbors, strangers, share them with the world, so that the parts of Shelley that we all keep with us, can flourish and grow, just as her spirit was always doing, gracious and glowing.
Remember her pumpkin roll, and make it on Thanksgiving, remember her love of Scooter and smile at that dog near the coffee shop, remember her eagerness to help the less fortunate, and find places where you, too, can make a difference.
But above all, remember her voice in the kitchen, in church, in the car and in the secret places you shared only with each other, and speak along with her sing along her and know that, for however loud or soft you do so she can hear, because she lives in you.
There's a quote, buried in the depths of Shelley's Facebook profile, near the all-capital-letter proclamation that she loves being a grandmother, that says, "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got."
This, this, is what we can do for Shelley now, let us not do what we've always done, let's try, even in our hardest moments especially in our hardest moments to do what Shelley would've done, and see what that gets us.
Because if it's anything like what it got Shelley, it's a life full of happiness and a soul at peace.
May we all be so lucky it's what she would've wanted.